My backdoor leads to China – AND THE MISSING ATTACHMENT!!!
Parshat Chukat

Verizon is the second largest telecommunications company in the US, trailing only behind AT&T but ahead of rivals Comcast and T-Mobile. While they might be most recognized for their wireless service, they also provide internet for homes and businesses. They…

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Parshat Chukat

Can I sell you a bridge with that?
Parshat Korach 5781

No one ever lost money betting on the depths of humanity’s stupidity. Somehow, whenever you think that humanity has hit rock bottom, and that we must evolve into smarter beings in order for our species to survive, some event happens…

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Parshat Korach 5781

Please don’t cut off your feet!
Parshat Baha’alosecha

This week I saw a group of people studiously sawing off their feet… at least metaphorically. I went to my local bank branch about twenty minutes before opening to deposit of a few checks, and right in middle of the…

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Parshat Baha’alosecha

Please don’t hate me for being a genius!
Parshat Bamidbar 5781

I still remember the first day I woke up brilliant. It was a cool autumn morning, with a light layer of frost coating the front lawn and the windshield of my car. Instead of thinking, “I’m going to need a…

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Parshat Bamidbar 5781

You want to be brainwashed!
Tazria-Metzora 5781

If you live near a large metropolitan area, you’ve probably seen this phenomenon. It probably scratched your brain for a few seconds, but you had no explanation for it, and then you got distracted by the car swerving ahead of…

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Tazria-Metzora 5781

Let’s Grow This!
Parshat Shmini

Owning an apartment building has its challenges. Tenants don’t pay their rent and local governments make it almost impossible to evict them. Plumbing starts getting old and leaks break out everywhere. People trash their apartments causing costly repairs, or leave…

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Parshat Shmini

A Night of Rebirth
Parshat Vayikra 5781

Miriam, or Maria as she was now called, went over the shopping list for the fourth time. She wanted to ensure that buying horseradish at this time of year wouldn’t raise the ever suspicious eyes of the Inquisitors who were…

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Parshat Vayikra 5781