There is a man whose name I won’t tell you, who has a dog, whose name I will tell you. It’s Piney. Piney was named that because his “Mommy” had a dream that she would have dog named Piney. Piney is a very temperamental dog to say the least.
Piney is brown pit bull with big white patches who was picked up from a shelter, and was evidently abused in his former life. On the one hand, he is timid and fearful, often afraid of birds or puppies much smaller than he. This fear and anxiety that he suffers from is so great that he must take Valium to calm himself down. On the other hand, when fearful, he can be extremely aggressive. He can’t take a walk in the street near men, because if any man looks him in the eye he lunges at them and tries to attack them.
Since being adopted by he-who-must-not-be-named, he has already bitten seven people. He started at a wedding when he bit a nine year old sister of the bride and then her little brother. He continued by biting a host of random strangers on later occasions, augmented with multiple attacks on his Mommy. Each time he has drawn blood. His behavior is so erratic, that Mom and Dad have not allowed anyone into the house for the last seven years, lest the dog attack them. None of their friends have ever seen the inside of their apartment. As you can imagine, Mom and Dad have no biological children, raising a child around Piney would be rightful cause for a call to Child Protective Services.
Every morning, Dad wakes up at 5am, gets dressed, puts on his shoes and his coat, and walks down five flights of steps in order to bring Piney outside so that Piney can take care of business while no one else is walking the streets. When they get back to the house, Piney gets anxious, because Mom is sleeping, and he thinks Dad is going to try to harm Mom. So every day, Piney lunges at Dad, trying to kill him, and Dad needs to fight him back until he can distract Piney with a toy.
In addition to anxiety, Piney suffers from severe allergies. Piney has four doctors that he goes to regularly, and one of them recommended that they put Piney on a simple diet of one protein and one starch, and serve him the same thing at every meal. So Mom and Dad began cooking for Piney, as a matter of fact, most of the cooking done in the house is for the dog. Mom and Dad mostly eat out at restaurants or order takeout, so the cooking in the home is almost only for Piney. This new diet worked, and the allergic reactions went away, but after a few months he usually begins having a reaction to that particular protein, which means that mom and dad have to go procure a new protein that Piney’s stomach hasn’t learned to reject yet. So far, Piney has been through: beef, pork, tuna, rabbit, ostrich, bison, venison, and kangaroo.
Kangaroo meat is a bit tough to buy here in the United States of Normal. There were two kinds of kangaroo that Piney needed, large chunks to be cooked with the starch for meals, and small bits into which Piney’s many medications could slipped. The large prepackaged chunks of meat were shipped to Dad’s workplace, where people were curious about the chunks of kangaroo coming in boxes on dry ice. The tidbits were available in only one butcher shop in all of their city, but it was an hour subway ride away, which means that Dad would have to travel two hours every couple of weeks to get the kangaroo tidbits.
During an interview, Dad joked that the logical conclusion of all of this is that eventually the only meat left that Piney is not allergic to is human meat and then Mom and Dad will just have to feed themselves to Piney. At which point the interviewer pointed out that metaphorically that is already occurring…
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If you’re like me, you probably chuckled incredulously when reading about Piney; “How can people become such slaves to a dog?” You might have even experienced a moment of righteous schadenfreude, it serves them right for not putting down that child-biter! But the truth is that we all own a Piney. Piney is simply a physical representation of our own negative traits, our Yetzer Hara.
Each of us has a different Piney, for some it is jealousy, anger, lust, selfishness, or gossip, for others it might be laziness, pride, the need to please, greed, or gluttony. Unchecked, that character trait will rule over our lives. We will find ourselves going to the greatest lengths to satisfy that particular trait, to the point where anyone hearing about it would be incredulous. “Could he really be that arrogant that he doesn’t realize we all see right through his ‘subtle’ ways of praising himself? How can she be so lazy, why doesn’t she get off her couch and get a job? What’s wrong with him, he’s already morbidly obese, but there he is shoveling food down his gullet like he’s about to hibernate for six months?” I’m pretty sure that if anyone could see our Piney, and the havoc he has wrought on our life, and then see that we haven’t driven it out of our lives yet, they would think we’re as crazy as you may be thinking Piney’s Mom and Dad are.
Inside of us is a Piney voice that can be at once fearful and anxious while also being aggressive and controlling. It is usually afraid of change and filled with anxiety about the future, and will fight aggressively to maintain the status quo anytime it feels any one is being critical of us or our Piney.
The Talmud(Tractate Succah, 52B), when describing the Yetzer Hara, our negative inclinations, says:
Rabbi Shimon Ben Lakish said: “A man’s evil inclination threatens every day to overpower him, and seeks to kill him, as the verse says, (Psalms, 37:32) ‘The Wicked One [the Evil Inclination] watches for the righteous person and seeks to slay him.’ And if not for the Holy One, Blessed is He, Who aids him [the righteous person], he would be unable to withstand it, as it says (Ibid, v.33) Ha-shem will not leave him [the righteous] in his hand [of the Evil Inclination], nor condemn him in His judgment.’”
Piney is incredibly powerful. Although at times he looks like nothing other than an innocent puppy, a little defect of ours that is kind of cute, just a quirk of our personality, if left uncurbed, it can take over our lives. We need to conscientiously determine what our Piney is (most of us know this instinctively), we need to ask G-d’s help in removing it from our lives, and we need to do everything we can to make sure that it stays away.
The question we have to ask ourselves is: do I control my Piney or does Piney control me. And if my Piney is currently in control, am I slowly feeding my own life force to Piney and losing every thing I wanted to be to his demands?
The first step to beating Piney is to be aware of just how far he has taken us. The second step is to prepare a plan for removing him. The third step is tracking our progress (having an accountability partner can be a huge help in this area)! The result of years of this work, is that we become owners of our own lives, we can open our lives to others in a way we never could before, and we achieve serenity and joy that only Piney’s absence can give us.
Parsha Dvar Torah
In this week’s Torah portion, we read about Jacob and Esav, the twin brothers born to Isaac and Rebecca, who began fighting while in utero, as the Torah relates, “The children agitated inside her [Rebecca]” (Genesis 25:22). In his commentary, Rashi explains that “They were struggling with one another, and fighting over the inheritance of two worlds (this world and the World to Come).”
Clearly, Jacob and Esav had very different values and interests. Their fighting is therefore difficult to comprehend. Esav loved hunting, killing, stealing, and adultery. He enjoyed this world, without any concern for the World to Come. He sold his spiritual birthright for a bowl of lentil-stew, indicating that even a minute pleasure in this world was worth more to him than the spiritual benefits of the firstborn. Jacob on the other hand, sat in the tents and studied. He spent his entire life focused on the World to Come, totally dismissing the delights of this world.
What then were they fighting about? Why couldn’t they simply agree that Esav would get the pleasures of this world, while Jacob would get the lofty World to Come?
In truth, however, both worlds are indelibly linked, and each brother needed components of both worlds. Esav wanted to indulge in the physical pleasures of this world – yet couldn’t do so completely, because he understood the value of the World to Come. This knowledge alone creates a profound dissatisfaction with living a purely material life and a desire to seek something deeper. As John D. Rockefeller once said, “I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.”
The soul (our spiritual side) only finds pleasure in spiritual accomplishments. This explains why people are always looking to add meaning to their lives, even when they are quite comfortable physically. Esav’s soul was therefore not fully satiated. He wanted to dominate the next world as well, so that he could somehow have his cake and eat it too.
In the same vein, while Jacob recognized that the ultimate goal of our lives is to develop our spiritual side and to focus on the World to Come, we nevertheless need this world to truly earn our full-spirited portion. This world is necessary precisely because G-d isn’t apparent here and doing the right thing often doesn’t come easy. A soul not having to contend with the challenges of this world has no battles to fight and never can really become great. Jacob therefore wanted to dominate this world so that he could fully enjoy the spiritual pleasures of the World to Come.
The final irony is that in the end, the spiritual path of Jacob not only earned him a great World to Come, but also gave him a meaningful life in this world, proudly raising the twelve tribes, and in the end, living in Goshen surrounded by righteous children and grandchildren. He ultimately “won” by dominating both worlds.
It is interesting to note that scientific studies show a strong link between a person’s spiritual beliefs and practices, and his ability to cope with stress, anxiety, and depression. While it is validating to see this data in prestigious journals, we already knew from Jacob and Esav that a life lived by blending both worlds is a life best lived.
Parsha Summary
The Parsha begins with Yitzchak and his wife Rivka, praying fervently for a child as they didn’t have one in twenty years of marriage. G-d grants them their wish and grants them twins. One of them is great and every time Rivka passes a Yeshiva he kicks indicating that he wants to learn. However, when she passes an idolatrous temple, the other guy is kicking away! This confuses Rivka, who didn’t know she had twins, so she goes to ask two scholars, Shem and Aver. They, through Divine Knowledge explain to her that she has two babies in her womb, both of who will be the father of great nations. They further tell her that there will be an inverse relationship between them, with one gaining power when the other loses it.
Soon two babies are born. The first comes out fully formed, and with a hairy coat of reddish hair, and he is called Eisov, which means “made.” His brother comes out holding onto the heel of his twin, and he earns the name Yaakov, which alludes to the heel he was pulling out in his attempt to get out first.
The twins as kids are pretty similar as babies (you know how it is, babies, they all look and act the same! They cry, dirty their diapers, and eat!) But when they get older, it becomes painfully obvious that these fellas couldn’t be farther apart. One spends his time learning in the tents, and one goes of hunting and robbing people in a way that would only make Ted Nugent proud. On the day they turn thirteen, Avraham dies right before his grandson, Eisov has his debut as All-Mesopotamian Bad Guy, as he spends his Bar Mitzvah committing all three of the Big Three sins, Adultery, Idolatry, and Homicide.
Arriving home from a day of high crimes, Eisov is famished and finds Yaakov cooking a lentil dish for his fathers (mourners are supposed to eat round things to remember that life is a cycle, and although they are in a down right now, things will turn up again). Eisov sells his birthright to his brother for a bowl of beans that was poured into his mouth and some bread, thus showing that he has zero appreciation for the finer things in life such as a fork and spirituality (the birthright is primarily a spiritual function as it designated who was supposed to serve in the Temple).
Then there is a famine in the Land of Israel and Yitzchak and his wife must go to Gerar to live amongst the Pilishtim, where food is abundant. Using a trick he learned from his father, Yitzchak tells his wife Rivka to tell everyone that she is his sister, to avoid getting killed by someone trying to steal his wife. When Avimelech, the King of Gerar finds out that they are actually married, he scolds Yitzchak, saying that one of the nation (himself) almost took Rivka as a wife, and then asks them to leave town. They pack up and move to the neighboring valley, where they successfully dig up some wells that Avraham’s servants dug when Avraham was there. There are a number of fights between the local servants and Yitzchak’s servants over the wells, until finally they come to an agreement regarding one of the wells on which they made a treaty, and it was named Be’er Sheva.
Yitzchak has enormous agricultural success producing 100 times the amount his fields were assessed to produce, and eventually realizing that Yitzchak obviously has G-d on his side, comes and makes a treaty with Yitzchak.
There has been a longstanding difference between Yitzchak and his wife, Rivka. Yitzchak displays more affection toward Eisov, hoping that the extra love showered on him will turn him around, while Rivka knows that Eisov is a no-goodnik, whose not coming back so fast and she loves Yaakov more. As Yitzchak is getting older, he decides that he must bless his children before he dies. Yitzchak decides that he should give the bulk of the blessings to Eisov hoping that success will breed success. But Rivka seeing her son with the deeper understanding that women possess, understands that Eisov will take the powers and use them for the other sides and she sets up a plan to circumvent the situation in a way that Yaakov will get the blessings. (It is interesting to note that both Avraham and his son Yitzchak had a son who was wicked, and each times their wives were the ones who realized how harmful they were, and took the necessary steps to ensure that the good children got whatever they needed.)
Yitzchak calls Eisov and tells him to bring him a good meal so that he can bless him out of appreciation. Rivka sees the opportunity and tells Yaakov to bring her two young kids (the goat kind) and she makes them into a dish she knows her husband loves. She then puts some of the goat skins on Yaakov’s smooth hands and neck so that they should feel like Eisov’s hairy ones. Yaakov brings the food into his father who asks him who he is. Yaakov, understanding the importance of his getting these blessing, needs to twist the truth a bit, and claims to be Eisov. His father unsure beckons him close to feel him, and feeling the skins thinks it is Eisov, and announces “The hands are the hands of Eisov, but the voice is the voice of Yaakov!” (This hints to the powers of the respective nations. Edom the progeny of Eisov, has their power in their hands, their physical strength, while the Jewish people, the offspring of Yaakov, has their power in their mouths, through prayer and Torah study!) Yitzchak then continues to give Yaakov all the blessings.
Soon after Eisov comes to his father with the meal he prepared for him, but when he arrives it becomes immediately clear that he has been tricked and that the blessing have already been given away. Eisov cries to his father, “have you left me at least one blessing?” Yitzchak tells him that he really gave all the good blessings to Yaakov, but he gives one blessing to Eisov, that his land should be fertile, that he shall live by his sword, and that although he will serve his brother, when his brother does the wrong things, Eisov will throw off his yoke, and dominate his brother.
Eisov furious that his brother stole his blessings begins to plan for the day his father will die so that he can kill his brother. Rivka realizing the danger facing her favored son, sends him off to the land she came from to get away from his murderous brother, and to get married with someone from her family. The parsha ends by telling us how Eisov seeing how much his parents dislike the local Canaanite women, marries himself a non-Canaanite woman, the daughter of Yishmael. Of course he keeps the Canaanite women, marrying a different wife was just a PR ploy to get parental approval.
Quote of the Week: Any coward can fight a battle when he is sure of winning! ~ George Elliot
Random Fact of the Week: Pteronophobia is the fear of being tickled with feathers.
Funny Line of the Week: I’ll be back in five minutes, but if not, just read this message again.
Have a Splendid Shabbos,
R’ Leiby Burnham
