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  • Torah
    • The Book of Bereishit
      • Bereishit
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Burnham’s Musings

I want to be you
Parshat Ki Tisa 5783

It was a gruesome way to die. The convulsions, vomiting, exhaustion, and gasping for breath lasted only a few hours, and then Thendara “Jagger” Satisfaction softly exhaled for the last time. His death would rock the world; the headlines screaming…

Continue ReadingI want to be you
Parshat Ki Tisa 5783

A Cinder-Allah Purim!
Parshat Tetzaveh 5783

Aziza al Tahmimi’s father had always told her that life wasn’t meant to be fair, and he sure got that one right. In November of 2013, he became a martyr by blowing himself up in the Central Bus Station in…

Continue ReadingA Cinder-Allah Purim!
Parshat Tetzaveh 5783

First Principles of Snowboarding and Life
Parshat Terumah 5783

Hello Everybody, It was on the first morning of my snowboarding trip, at about 8:30 AM that I realized I need some more stretching in my life. I was sitting on the floor with Kenny, a ski/ snowboard instructor, preparing…

Continue ReadingFirst Principles of Snowboarding and Life
Parshat Terumah 5783

Were your parents like this?
Parshat Mishpatim 5783

Why did you give my child a C+? I’m sorry, I’m not sure who you are? I’m Mrs. X and you gave my child a C+ as his final grade, why? Oh, nice to meet you Mrs. X.  I gave your…

Continue ReadingWere your parents like this?
Parshat Mishpatim 5783

PETA and the Super Bowl…
Parshat Yisro 5783

"I do agree with a lot of the core beliefs of PETA," I exclaimed as I cut myself another piece of succulent roast beef, pausing only to dip it in béarnaise sause before eating it with gusto. My guest looked…

Continue ReadingPETA and the Super Bowl…
Parshat Yisro 5783

Defining Deepwater Drilling Dangers!
Parshat Beshalach 5783

Under the soil in southern Louisiana are mountains of salt the size of Mt Everest. When Hashem was creating the many miracles of creation, one of them was that the land beneath our feet would always be shifting and churning,…

Continue ReadingDefining Deepwater Drilling Dangers!
Parshat Beshalach 5783

The Rebel Zoo
Parshat Va’era 5783

There are zoos, and there are animal parks. Zoos are built in large metropolitan areas, animal parks rise up in the deep country. Zoos have concrete pathways, food courts, and train rides, animal parks have dirt paths, food trucks, and…

Continue ReadingThe Rebel Zoo
Parshat Va’era 5783

The Library of You 
Parshat Vayechi 5783

I used to think that the entire California was one big meeting ground for urbane, progressive sophisticates, the type that ate braised youngberry frites, used venti as a vocabulary word, or listened to world fusion music while drinking organic wheatgrass martinis. While…

Continue ReadingThe Library of You 
Parshat Vayechi 5783

Do you think you are better than others? 
Parshat Vayigash 5783

Sandra never knew freedom. She was born in captivity into a group of people that treated her like an animal, keeping her in a cage, and feeding her not much more than bottles of milk and vegetable scraps. Being caged…

Continue ReadingDo you think you are better than others? 
Parshat Vayigash 5783

The Court of Public Opinion 
Parshat Vayeshev 5783

Hello Everybody, Due to a series of unfortunate events, I have ended up in court far too many times in my life. Luckily those unfortunate events were mostly speeding or failure to obey a traffic device as opposed to homicide,…

Continue ReadingThe Court of Public Opinion 
Parshat Vayeshev 5783
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I know who you don’t use… and I know why…

MRS. BAYLA BERMAN June 6, 2025 No Comments

Who says you’re so special?<br>Parshas Devarim 5785

LEIBY BURNHAM May 30, 2025 No Comments

Shavuot 5785

RABBI AVI COHEN May 27, 2025 1 Comment

Can everyone can afford a home?<br>Parshas Behar – Bechukotai

LEIBY BURNHAM May 23, 2025 No Comments
  • Mrs. Erin Stiebel
  • Mrs. Sara Aliza Scheinberg
  • Mrs. Shaindel Fink
  • Rabbi Avi Cohen
  • Rabbi Chaim Fink
  • Rabbi Leiby Burnham
  • Rabbi Noam Gross

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  • Mrs. Erin Stiebel
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  • Mrs. Shaindel Fink
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